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Elrond Peredhil

[ website | lordoftherings.net ]
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(3 gwaith | tangado a chadad)

shh. [22 Nov 2004|06:38pm]
Elf booty got soul.

(6 gwaith | tangado a chadad)

[29 Oct 2003|06:52pm]
Dear idiotic, slutty, bohemian, suspiciously Japanese elves who have invaded my home,

GET OUT. And take the pink-haired dictator with you. And stop having sex on my furniture. And stop hitting on Elrohir. If you not a horse or his sister, he's probably not interested.

Cordially,

Lord Elrond Peredhil

(tangado a chadad)

this is the poetic bit [11 Oct 2003|08:30pm]
Sweet-smelling angel of light and joy that thou art, my sparrow (wow I'm good)--

Wake me up when he leaves. And scoot over.


--your own devoted hunka hunka burning luv, Elrond

PS: Obviously we are the funniest thing in Arda, thereby justifying everything we do. YAY!!

(tangado a chadad)

[11 Oct 2003|08:24pm]
Darling pet,

Don't be an idiot. Would I really allow my only daughter (besides Butch, of course) to marry someone with pink hair? My descendants would look like a band of silly Japanese musicians! And anyway, I get the impression that this fellow is gayer than Truman Capote on a sugar rush. And yet evil. Kind of sexy actually.

.. :)

You realize this is kind of spammy, of course.

Love and schnuggles,
Zlotrond

(tangado a chadad)

[11 Oct 2003|08:17pm]
Dearest II,

...oh. Hi!!!!

<3
Rondowen

(tangado a chadad)

[11 Oct 2003|04:38pm]
[ mood | well, in distress, obviously ]

Dear Beloved Clone,

Hi! How are you, blossom? I miss you. It seems like ages since you "went for a walk." But, silly me, it's only been three months.

Uh. II? Where are you? Are you mad at me? Or have you been kidnapped by a band of randy dwarves? In either case, come home this instant! We can work it out!

Though I am concerned by your absence, as are the children (I assume--Arwen and Elrohir seldom emerge from their--yes, their--bedroom these days, and I think Elladan is dead), that is not my only reason for penning this letter.

You see, Rivendell has been taken over by a pink-haired elven miscreant named Rumil. I have no idea how he has done this, seeing as how I am a Proud Elf Lord who fought in the Last Alliance and stuff, whereas his arms resemble toothpicks that have gone on diets. But, uh, he has done so. And I am very distubed.

Please come home; I am all alone. Erestor appears to have gone on some sort of vacation, which he claimed was in his contract, but I'm not positive he knows how to read, so I am suspicious. I miss you, and all the good times we had together, and my home not being in the possession of an effeminate twerp. What if he tries to take advantage of me? Me, your beauteous fiancee? Would you be able to LIVE WITH THE GUILT? What if I decided I liked that kind of thing and joined some riffraff-laden acting troupe in order to get my jollies? Would you like that? Now come home right now so we can get things back to normal.

As always, I love you oodles and miss those nights I spent snuggled up against your gigantic yet sexy ass.

In distress,
Your loving Rondie

(1 gwaith | tangado a chadad)

[15 Jun 2003|12:59am]
[ mood | wow ]

II had the baby!



It's not mine. The baby. It's Sauron's. My manbride slept with Sauron. How am I supposed to feel about this? I don't know. It looks as if Mr. Dark Lordypants is going to take little Boo anyway. But...I wanted so much to be a good father, just this once...

Well, screw that. II AND I ARE GOING ON VACATION TO MODERN EARTH! Oooh, baby! I want to go to Disney World. II II can we go? Can we? Can we? Can we?

(16 gwaith | tangado a chadad)

ooc. [11 Jun 2003|07:25pm]
Elrond! The Story of a Half-Elf with a Song in His Heart.

in other words, MEME!Collapse )

(25 gwaith | tangado a chadad)

[07 Jun 2003|06:08pm]
...

Yes, Elrond is STILL in labor.

What is this, day five?! I have never heard so much whining in my life. He's so doped up that heroin is dripping out of his pupils. He begs Elrohir to tell him stories, which all begin with "And this one time, when I was going down on Faxy..." He keeps demanding footrubs from me. HE SHOULD NOT LOOK FOR FOOTRUBS! THEY HAVE FORSAKEN THESE LANDS! MOSTLY BECAUSE HIS FEET STINK LIKE MORGOTH'S DINGLEBERRIES!

But we're in love, so.

Um, Ms. Ann is here. :) She's so cute with her circular saw, like a button or similar.

Fingolfin is here. That is why I am hiding and typing this from the pantry. I hope he thinks eating--much like sleeping, bathing, and not maiming your terrified descendants--is for pansies.

(11 gwaith | tangado a chadad)

[06 Jun 2003|05:30pm]
[ mood | AIEEE ]

Um! Um! II is in labor, I think. That or he's trying to pass a large grapefruit. omgiamsonervous BUT HAPPY we are going to have another baby in the house!!

For the love of Eru, we need aid. Midwifes can apply with the little mother's handy form, okay? And I think he could use a little emotional support, too. Not only is, uh, Fingolfin coming, apparently, it's going to be a natural childbirth. Yeah. So visitors are welcome, with the exception of dwarves, hobbits, unapproved men, Feanoreans, Thingol, Morgoth, the ghost of our wife, or muns who just want a peek at Elrond's naughty bits, and believe me, we are SO on to you, Kielle.

...ERESTOR get the tennis balls!!1

(48 gwaith | tangado a chadad)

[18 May 2003|05:59pm]
[ mood | damned dead grass ]

This is the place where dead grass grows.

*gets out lawnmower*

(15 gwaith | tangado a chadad)

[14 May 2003|07:02pm]
[ mood | irate ]

Well, it looks like my son is dead. Again.

Oh well. Guess I'll have to pack my bags for Cerin Amroth. I know, I know, dying of grief is so done, but it can't be helped. Maybe if my son would stop being such a self-centered horsefucking ingrate with no regard for his ada's fragile health, this wouldn't have to happen. But unfortunately, life has no meaning, I'm distraught with the loss of my beloved Elrofuck, blah blah, etc. Lothlorien, here I come. Or maybe I could just stick my head in the oven.

Unless a certain pansy stops being dead in the next fifteen minutes. I'm waiting!

...

You know, if I die of grief, II will be so upset, and that's not good for the baby. DID YOU THINK OF THAT, ELROFUCK? DID YOU?

It's bad for my skin, too. No joke! I found a wrinkle after I came back last time.

...

*plays Minesweeper*

I hope someone is thinking very hard about his actions.

Arthur's knocked up too, of course. The emotional stress of having her favorite ada die wouldn't be good for that baby either. And that one is the future heir of Dol Amroth or the Shire or whatever Estel's mayor of.

...

...

That's it. I'm leaping off a cliff. Really. Any minute now. That's not a threat, Elrofuck. It's a warning.

Okay, I'm leaving.

Right now.

...dammit, I can't find my toothbrush.

(1 gwaith | tangado a chadad)

[11 May 2003|09:18pm]
[ mood | full of love ]

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MAMA!!

:D :D :D

(We will now return you to your regularly scheduled stuffy elf lord.)

(tangado a chadad)

[01 May 2003|01:22am]
Guess what.

Elrond #1

You are Elrond #1. During the Second Age, you broke away from your pimp Gil-galad, fled into the mountains, got raped by Tom Bombadil, and then built a tree house in between some mountains. Thus Rivendell was born, though the walls are still lost in the birth canal. You revolutionized retirement for elves-- why go into the West when you can sit on your couch all day long and bitch at everyone for anything? While other elves will remember your uh tremendous victory(?) at the Last Alliance, your children know you for your gigantic porn collection, starring you. But you and your clone have hot asses, so it's not too disturbing-- just horrifying.

Take teh kEwLieZ quiz!!1!



My mun has the wackiest ideas. Well, go on now. Take it.

((Mucho props to Michelle for co-writing it and doing all the code.))

(tangado a chadad)

[21 Apr 2003|12:35am]
[ mood | ooc ]

Mun note:

Elrond I's journal will continue to be on break. Due to recent events, I could not open my figurative online mouth to speak as Elrond without many personal things being said, things that Elrond really has nothing to do with. He's taking this time to grieve over his wife, let us say.



There is no excuse for being irrational when you know you are being irrational. It's pathetic.

(64 gwaith | tangado a chadad)

BETROTHAL DAY WOO [10 Apr 2003|08:46pm]
[ mood | busy :) ]

Hmm. It's Thursday.

Oh wait. That means it's

BETROTHAL DAY!!!!!!!!


Well, let's get down to it, shall we?

This week, Elrofuck specifically asked us to be the victim chosen child. He's very lonely lately. I think we'll have to buy him a new Glorfie Stardust cardboard cutout if this continues.

Anyway, Elrohir my boy, this week your other ada and I have decided that you shall marry...

Oooh, I think I shall use a silly unneeded lj cut here! SUSPENSE!!!!!!!

you can cut the tension with a sporkCollapse )

(41 gwaith | tangado a chadad)

[06 Apr 2003|01:38am]
[ mood | unloved by gil-galad ]

Okay, okay, the fits of denial and retardation are over. I can now deal with everything. You know, II being some sort of maia thingie now, and Gilly TOTALLY HATING ME OMG and my son being in a zoo and whatnot. (At least Elrobeth hasn't exploded. YET. However, he's no longer just a horsefucker--he's an incestuous one. There is no Eru [I didn't mean it, do not end universe pls.]) So! Reaction time.

...

Sorry, I'm sure an emotion will surface in a moment here.

Just sort of out of practice.

Any minute now.

... *twiddles thumbs*

Would you like a biscuit? Erestor made them; they're probably all right.

Wait,wait, here it comes.

GHSLKGHSLKGHLSHG ;_; LIEK OMG ETC!!!1

That felt good. II, pass me the damned potato chips. El Rondo has volvido. The bitch is back.

[Hi Ms. Ann! :)]

(26 gwaith | tangado a chadad)

THERE WILL BE NO REACTING UNTIL ZLOT ISN'T BUSY ANYMORE, YOU KNOW. [15 Mar 2003|08:04pm]
[ mood | :) ]

My daughter didn't kill herself! :)

There aren't thirteen Galadriels! There isn't even one. Galadriel was just a children's story. :)

This burrito does not contain my daughter's sweet dead flesh! :)

There are no spare kinslayers hanging around my house! :)

This milk isn't spoiled! :)

Life is perfect! :)

(30 gwaith | tangado a chadad)

[07 Mar 2003|05:19pm]
[ mood | um ]

Dear Middle-earth,

Hi, Elrond's mun here. Um, I'm sure Elrond would have really liked to do a post for you all today. Unfortunately, there's a little problem.

Guys? He's not just watching TV. I think he's gone catatonic.

He croaked something about incest and dropped the remote. I'm a little at a loss. Yes, I have tried waving Fritos under his nose.

Help.

Love,
Zlot

(6 gwaith | tangado a chadad)

[27 Feb 2003|09:48pm]
[ mood | bored ]

We had a real doozy for Betrothal Day this week, but we will not overshadow Arthur's special day. Yes, that's right, Arthur, the daughter we are sort of confused by and do not actually acknowledge at times is getting married to Isildur. Woo. Um, she/he/it is your cousin, you know. But it is no worse than Aragorn, I suppose.

II is knitting maroon onesies for the baby. For some reason they always have three leg holes but I'm not going to say anything. He's getting pretty clever with the needles.

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